FROM NASA FILE 423/CONFIDENTIAL/RECENTLY RELEASED:
“Roger Cosmonkey,” as he is now known, was born in 1968 as a common chimpanzee. Shortly thereafter he was inducted into the NASA animal testing program at Cape Canaveral. A simple subject known as “Bosco,” he was launched in a capsule above the Earth in the fall of that year. Unbeknownst to NASA scientists, a severe space/time rift had opened dangerously close to Earth’s orbit. The mission was compromised and the pull of the rift was too great for the launch capsule, which was pulled into it. The chimp and the capsule disappeared from all radar and was not recorded as being seen for the next forty three years. For unknown reasons, this same chimpanzee reappeared over Earth early in 2011, piloting a dramatically different spacecraft and exhibiting a dramatically heightened intelligence. He claimed the name “Roger Cosmonkey,” due to his enrollment in the original Cosmonaut Monkey Program at NASA. “Roger” was apparently the last Earth word he heard from HQ before he was lost in the rift.
His manners are rude but his speech and vocabulary show a high I.Q.. Upon his arrival, Roger engaged the U.S. government immediately, seeking compensation for his time in space and the violation of his “Simian American” rights. He won this case and has made his home in the Hollywood Hills, along with several other NASA animal test subjects who also seem to have had the same rift-traveling and intelligence-heightening experience. Whether Roger’s presence on Earth is a help or a danger has yet to be determined. An investigation is ongoing.